I don’t know why I still get surprised when changes happen to our sons wellbeing and health so suddenly. One moment we are laughing and smiling as we wheel-walk through the snowy lanes, and then almost within hours, the veil of depression and anxiety take a grip of him once more.
Over the coming days, reviews and assessments will take place again. We know his health is failing and that lasting damage is being caused as a result of his daily seizures. In turn, they are adding to his enormous anxiety and for us, it breaks our hearts to hear him say such things as “I’ve had enough of this” and “I can’t go on anymore” We understand that a person who suffers from Autism, can and does, sensationalise expressions as they talk and we are assured that what he is saying does not actually mean the desperate things we may believe they do and in truth, within minutes, his expressions and language can change, giving some support to these assurances.
Though I write these words, they are from a parents perspective of their only child, but we do recognise that we are just onlookers to the real torment that is being suffered by our son. We need to make sure we don’t feel sorry for ourselves, or him, but to continually keep focused and positive, also hopeful that something will be considered that will ease his burden. That does become hard at times. Soon however, we will get a view of what may be considered, though in reality, it will take several months to appraise the benefit or otherwise of whatever considered intervention is decided upon.