The temptation is to look at effect, and not the cause. We find that. A firefighter will always look to get water on the seat of the fire and not the flames. They will dampen the surrounding area to try and stop a fire spreading, but focus remains on the heart of the fire, as that is where it will be stopped.
In caring for a loved one with Autism, there are times when we look at the ‘effect’ – or flames – and don’t see the real cause. Far easier said than done, unless you are constantly watching, listening and taking absolute care to ensure surrounding stimuli is managed.
As with the open bloom of the flower, distracted in the beauty their outer petals, the heart of the flower is so detailed and fascinating, it pays to look here closely, for here is where the answers and guidance to life lie.
As a parent, you can not ‘switch off’ or become distracted, you need to work as a team with your partner and/or carers and consider that care as an athlete would pass a baton, a smooth transfer of responsibility and understanding to ensure the path is planned and all pitfalls seen understood and prepared for.
What works for us, is ‘mindfulness‘ and our looking to focus our sons thoughts on the present moment and so preventing those anxious thoughts and depressing feelings which cause turmoil. Its not the whole answer, and the anxiety and depression are also enhanced through essential anti-epileptic drugs, but while we hold his attention – for example, spending time in the garden, looking at the colours of the flowers, the perfume of the herbs, the sound of the grasses in the breeze and talking with him, explaining what he sees, hears and smells, his thoughts remain focused and not following the usual terrors creating the turmoil in his unchecked mind.
At the heart of it, peace can be found 🙂