Take a break …

Take a break …

Take a break and do something YOU love …

An early lesson you learn when living with someone who has Autism, is not to take personally words or actions that might otherwise seem an attack on you. As we understood more and more about our sons disabilities and how they affect his life each day, we gained this understanding through meltdowns and tears.

We also learned that people outside our immediate family and close friends can also seem to attack us, our son, our life style some through innocent ignorance, others to gain an upper hand for some self indulgent delight. In the early years this made us angry, but over time you do learn to understand it and why it happens. Just like we learned to understand our sons actions were generated through a fear and confusion that we were not aware of, we came to understand that other negativity we encounter will also be disregarded on a personal level and not be affected by it.

This resilience doesn’t always work, after all we are only human and from time to time something always creeps through and annoys you intensely.  The bible tells us to turn the other cheek and for the most part we can do just that, but occasionally, you do have to walk away and do something you love that absorbs you totally so you can deal with that negative emotion and get rid of it.

I was reminded of this recently when I received an email in response to images and comments I share through my photography site. Normally I would disregard such things, but the words in this particular email did hurt. Though there is no lasting hurt, the event has made me consider what I do put out for public view. My ultimate goal through this site and my flickr site is to share our experiences and how we deal with various challenges, in the hope that someone who may not have the same confidence can share what we experience and hopefully realise they are not alone, others do understand and may be able to share a problem or support a solution.

Taking my own advice, I am ‘taking a break’ at least on one site, immersing myself instead in our garden to work on the sensory layouts and wildlife attraction and work on photo opportunities there for when I return to photography.

Don’t let a knock, keep you down, as was once said, ‘if I get knocked down seven times, I will get back up eight times’

 

16 thoughts on “Take a break …

  1. Hi Paul,

    I’m so sorry to hear that someone has commented negatively on your family situation. ‘Walk a mile in my shoes’ and ‘Everyone can do your job better than you…as long as they don’t actually have to’, are two sayings that immediately spring to my mind.

    I wont be on flickr very much now either, but please tell Marc I said hello and I’m thinking of him regularly.

    I wish you and your family all the very best for the future.

    Dougie.

    1. I will indeed Dougie, thank you. You have always been a great support for us. Marc does say ‘Hello’ to you too 🙂

  2. Hi Paul, I’m always pleased to see your comments and ‘likes’ on my social media. Just as I always enjoy both your photography and your writings.
    I hope you don’t let this one thoughtless idiot deter you from sharing things in the future. You have a lot of friends out there; I consider you as a friend even though we have never met. (If we do, it’ll be the hat I’ll recognise!).
    Best wishes to you and family.
    PS flickr isn’t what it used to be anyway 😉 It’s kind of cumbersome and dated now.

    1. Your very kind Helen and I have thought of you as a friend for a long time now as well. I will return and maybe it was a blessing in disguise as it has made me think about how I post my images whilst protecting ourselves as well. Take care and thank you so much for your support. You may spot the hat one day, our paths do seem to cross every now and again, just different times 🙂

  3. Hi Paul,
    Whoever made an offensive comment to you needs *their* head examining, not you or your family. They are probably so small minded that they have no idea what it’s like having, let alone living with a handicapped son.
    Yes, take a break, but please try not to shut yourself out completely. You’d just started getting Marc to take photos and do you really want to undo all that?
    Yes, words hurt, as I discovered to my own pain on Flickr. Delete the email, or reply in the strongest words what you felt.
    Sorry, I’m now making you juggle, but I understand from both sides how it is and feels. But, whatever you finally decide to do and only you *can* decide, take care.

    With all our best wishes to you and the family.
    Jane. xx

    PS I’m missing Miss Bronte already!!

    1. Hi Jane, thank you so much for your support as always and I remember you experienced something similar yourself not too long ago. Jane, be assured that I will return actively to Flickr, and share my site with the work Marc does with me too. I’m spending a little time considering how much detail I share publicly without losing the spirit of what I’m trying to achieve. You may see I have categorised our relationship differently and that is so I can share some images with you and a very small group only. Thank you so much Jane, we will be back and continue to work on this site too. Paul xx

  4. Oh Paul,
    I feel great sadness as I read this blog. I don’t understand what motivates some people, who obviously do not understand, feel that they have right to ‘get on their high horse’ like that! As Dougie said, above, they have not walked a mile in your shoes and have not taken the time to actually realise the challenges you have faced, and conquered through the years. I have always enjoyed viewing your story through your photos and have the utmost respect and admiration for all you have achieved. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope to see your wonderful images again soon, but only when you feel it is right. I am so sorry that someone has chosen to hurt you in this way, it makes my blood boil.
    Take care!
    Dave

    1. Thank you so much David, I’ll be back and I know the majority of those who have followed our Flickr have been nothing but supportive and encouraging. The words that were sent to me have made me consider, what and how I share and while I decide that outcome, the best thing to do – in my mind – is to withdraw for a while. I’ll still be on this blog and I am still taking pictures and working in the garden, wheel-walking when we can and preparing for my return 🙂

  5. Oh Paul, this is so sad, I fully agree with all the comments of support. I can understand how you feel about it, when we are under pressure and feel a bit low the slightest negative comment hits you like an express train. I will never forget your kind support during our troublesome year, we give you all our support now. Take your time out, and return when you are ready.
    Say hello to Marc, and Mrs.F.
    Remember, you are a remarkable trio.

    Are kindest regards.
    Les and Margaret.

    1. Your very kind Les, and Margaret, Thank you so much. We are fine, rocked a little, but fine, and it won’t be too long before I return I’m sure 🙂

  6. Hi Paul

    I can’t imagine why someone would write to you in a negative way and I can understand that this negativity would make you want to take a rest from Flickr. Photography is a great stress reliever and has helped me immensely over the years. So just continue to use your camera and share your photos when you are ready. All the best to you, Mrs F and Marc.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Sally. Your right and since picking up the camera it has been fun and helped in so many different ways as I try to show and explain. I’m sure it wont be too long before I’m back and I thank you for your endless support 🙂

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